Constantly Chasing the Words Around

meatbicyclevevo:

thetowndrugdealer:

precumming:

I JUST PUT MY SHIRT ON AND THERE WAS A SPIDER IN IT!!!!!!!!

or did you just put a shirt on that a spider was already wearing?

thats so rude

rasec-wizzlbang:

tomthebluellama:

hellarat:

madmaninachair:

Do you ever memorize a person’s voice? Like you can construct a sentence in your mind that that person’s never said, and yet you hear them say it.

Is that a thing people can do?????????

yea 

image

absolutely-fatal:

agirlnamedagnes:

This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.

We don’t have kids.

We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.

wordsandthebees

where can i buy this thing or something similar?!

lacigreen:

joponyhere:

lillianloverly:

THIS IS A PSA

THIS APP IS CALLED SAFETREK AND IS ABSOLUTELY INVALUABLE TO ANYONE WALKING ANYWHERE WHERE THEY DONT FEEL SAFE

YOU ENTER YOUR INFO AND SET A PIN AND THEN WHENEVER YOU DONT FEEL SAFE, YOU HOLD DOWN THE BLUE BUTTON UNTIL YOU DO

ONCE YOU RELEASE THE BUTTON, YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO ENTER YOUR PIN, AND IF YOU DONT THE POLICE WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR LOCATION AND DISTRESS CALL

I TRULY BELIEVE THIS APP CAN HELP SOMEONE OUT THERE SO PLEASE DOWNLOAD IT

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/safetrek/id716262008?mt=8

signal boost the shit out of this

THIS IS AMAZING SPREAD THE WORD

benedictcumberbatch:

221bec:

professionalmisandrist:

What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick

image

if i had a dick i swear to glob i would put on a condom just to have a fucking dinosaur tattoo on it. latex allergy be damned (because let’s be honest. they would not bother extending it beyond the latex ones).

(Source: skeletontrash)

(Source: bananaslug)

vincentvangoth:

when u miss the last step on the stairs

image

tentarude:

troncats:

sorry:

I read an article the other day that said, “if you drink every day you are an alcoholic.” Thank god I only drink every night

why do text posts these days sound like they are quotes from a 40 year old mother’s facebook

image

(Source: sorry)

famouslastdraws:

The Crystal Gems -original design